Fear You, Fear Me
* * * *
I didn’t recognize you at
first since you have the audacity
to show up in a curse in disguise. It took
me quite some time to detect you but after
spending decades of dismantling layers & layers
of fears. I, finally, got a glimpse of who you really are,
the core of your true nature; an imbecile, a stain, a pain,
not wanting to go away, however hard you try. A pain in
the ass to be blunt. I had you, if not, after quite some detective
work, even though you held a strong character to reveal who you
really were. You were casually hiding out in the darkest alleys,
appearing with no further explanation, by my doorstep. You did
this time and again until you and your slaves had me for breakfast,
supper, dinner and every meal in between. You come in different
shades, colors and forms. You also love to play tricks on me and
catch me off guard makes you not only thrive but shudder with
pleasure. We both know by now that when you grow strong on me,
you have a tendency to move into my whole body & being. This is
when my senses freeze and my delicate brain functions no longer. I call
it brain fog. My body gets stiff, I grasp for a single breath of fresh air
and I am all of the sudden in fight mode. Flight mode. We all know
that uncomfortable feeling, intense bodily discomfort. You have
been there, yourself, as well. I know you have. To be clear on that
matter, you used to scare the hell out of me. You made me run
around the globe not only once but twice out of sheer fear,
* harmful danger and utter despair. *
I know that you would have me
subdued at all times and hold me prisoner
(and behind bars for all eternity) if you had your
say in the matter. You and your demons used to have
all the power you needed to crush everything about me.
Everyone around me. Everyone I held dear. Alas, I feared
and trembled being captivated by you at all times, in all places in
the most unexpected times of the day. You and your peers knew that
I feared you. I didn’t even manage to escape from you in my sleep
having nightmares about what you could do to me and how badly
* & severely would affect me. Can you imagine? *
* But you know what? *
Lately, I have become strong, if not as strong as I would like to be
but strong enough to resist your power over me at all times, in every
situation, wherever I go and wherever I come from. And that, my
dear foe, gives me something you’ll never ever be able to attain. Ever.
It has resulted in the very shocking fact to the both of us that You. Are.
Fearing. Me. How about that? You will never have the power or control
over my feelings as you once had. You know it, I know it. We both
feel this shift, subtle yet noticeable shift that has thrown us both off.
We both feel it in our bones and our cores. Much to your dismay but
to my sincere exhilaration. What I didn’t realise, before we met for
the first time at a very young age, is the very fact that my strength was
there all along hidden deep inside of me. All I had to do was to inhabit
my body and being present with all my senses. And my power grows
stronger and stronger by every second, by every minute, by every
hour. There is a tremendous joy in this revelation. In knowing
so I become stronger just as much as you become weaker.
* * Rest assured. * *
And I love it. I savour
* it. I flavour it. That is, if you
have any power at all left as I am writing *
these words. You seem to be created out of nothing–
ness. But most importantly, I’ll make something out of the
fact you are shrinking before my eyes. I’ll make myself under–
stand not only where I am coming from but more importantly
where I am headed. I will tell the world about the truth of your
bluff-making because that is all you are and all you are ever going
to be. A simple and cheap bluff maker with high stakes. You played a
dangerous game and you lost the most important battle of all times.
You lost the spell of your hideous marks. How powerless you really are
* when exposed and caught in action. *
* * * * * *
I salute this new insight. Ha ha. Now, I am the one calling on you and
once I have gotten the sweet and juicy taste of you, got a strong hold
of you, I will never ever let you grow on me again. That is for sure.
On the contrary, I will make the most beautiful divine wordings I could
muster and have them presented to the world. Like that, you high and
mighty fear, and all your comrades will no longer control frightened
people and force them to do things against their own will. Fear will no
longer have the power over me, our lives or the rest of the world. Oh,
you high and mighty fear, when dismantled and detached from the rest of
the pack, you are nothing, you have nothing, you gain nothing. You are
no longer a foe of mine. No longer a threat of mine. And there is
no more gain for you to find in me. I am the one with final power.
You are not because you are out. Out of the door. And I am in.
You are never to return. Never to re-open that gate again.
I hereby bid you farewell. Farewell. Goodbye.
* * * *
* * *
* * *
*
*
*
I dare
you, you
high & mighty
Fear to expose yourself
not only to me but also, to
the world, the whole wide world,
and you’ll find yourself, you high &
mighty Fear, crumbling into nothing–
ness. Of dust, you were born and dust
you shall remain I, hereby, bid you *
* farewell as you are no longer
walking in my hoods *
* Farewell. *
Goodbye.
* *
*
*
*
GONG Jae Ok 