GONG Jae Ok

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* * * *

* * * * * *

* * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* I cannot help but shed * *

tears of gratitude witnessing 

* the most beautiful trans– *

* * formation that I have *

* * made these  past * *

* * * * year. * * * *

With these soulful 

& most doleful * *

connections that I have 

* made in this beautiful & *

* divine community (She Told

Me A Story), which extraordinary 

* in itself but yet so natural and *

selfevident, I have finally found *

a creative place that I am familiar

with and a creative space that *

* * has become my Home. *

* * * * * Literally. * * * * * 

* * I have searched an * *

entire lifetime, presumably

several lifetimes, for a serene 

* and safe place like this and 

sad to admit, I never really 

* found it. Up until now.*

* With this notion * * 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* me ending up witnessing *

myself thriving, I had abandoned 

all my dreams, hopes,  desires &

ambitions for good thinking it

was not in my cards; creating 

* * a sustainable writing * *

* * * * lifestyle. * * * *

I never really knew *

* or thought that I would *

make it in our enhanced and

modern society. Make it, as *

* * pursuing my dreams & *

making them & baking 

* them into a reality. *

* * However, this retreat *

* of mine created a huge, yet 

still very raw, wound in my soul

and a tremendous heartache that

I never thought were repairable. I *

thought that I was utterly broken

* and that I was in no shape to * *

heal my wounds. Whatsoever.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

* But here I am, slowly, *

* but steadily lifting off this 

heavy weight, these burdens

that I burdened myself with, 

the ones that I have secretly 

* carried around on my * 

shoulders all my adult years

thinking that there was some–

thing tremendously wrong with 

me and my way of thinking and

* being. And I carried it so well * *

that I almost believed it myself.

* Everyone else seemed to agree 

* with my scam wholeheartedly. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * *

And so it seems that *

* there was nothing wrong 

with me. There was absolutely

freakishly nothing wrong with me.

I was just with the wrong crowd. I *

am beyond humbled and yet scared

to death to experience such a magic

* * place as this community. * *

* * I came to believe * *

* that I was scarred *

for life and I never grasped 

* the nature that those cracks,

burnt versions, enslaved fears &

imprisoned doubts were all along

the gateway to freedom. My free–

* dom. My truth and search for *

authenticity. To release and un–

strip my voice. To be stripped

down to the very core of my

* essence and being; *

* * to maintain intact to 

my purpose and intention *

in this world. To be the voice of

those who still haven’t found

theirs bet and to be the bridge

between the cracked versions *

* and burnt scars that now scare

the hell off any tendency in going

backwards. There is only going *

forwards, together in union with

my shield of invincibility, armor

of pearly pearls & helmet made

of gold. I feel very much alive 

* * for the first time in ages. * *

* * The tears are running, * * *

* tripling down my cheeks this 

* very moment. There are no

words in the whole world to *

express my gratitude for what 

* I have discovered; a treasure *

* beyond boundaries and a safe

place where I am allowed to feel

free, write without boundaries, *

share my discoveries & beautiful

unfolding of the courage and *

* and hearts on their sleeves

* * * the founders of * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

She Told Me A Story 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

and all the other beautiful 

female peers that come along

with it all. My gratitude goes

millennia away. We have eternal–

ly bridged the cracks, broken *

promises, shattered hearts and

dreams with the strongest steel 

* there is to find in the universe;

an unbreakable bond where fore–

ver unpolished diamonds were

molded and molded until they

became diamonds. Transform–

* ing into our most authentic 

versions makes us make a roar

from a lioness that protects her

peace, pace and face to others 

* who are not willing to or *

* meant to our path in * *

* * this lifetime. * * *

* * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Because truth to be told, *

we live in a world where pain *

seems to be the vehicle upon which

our greedy and needy society thrives.

The more growth and potential, the

more resistance there is for egos *

* and thieves sucking our *

* delicate souls & ripping

out our tender hearts *

to indulge like there

was no tomorrow. *

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sweetheart, it is not you *

who are at fault who needs *

to behave. It is the fault of the

mischievous behavior of others

making you be at odds with not

only yourself but with oddities. *

So, don’t for one second believe

what is being mirrored back to *

* * you. You are worthy. You are

loved. You are seen. You are felt. *

You are heard. I can hear the beat

of your heartbeat. I can hear it * *

* because it beats louder than any 

* * other noise out there and yet *

quieter than the silence ever will

be. I have got you. I hold your *

hand when you break the * *

* silence and tuning into 

a fierce woman with *

* no boundaries *

to make her- *

self her most 

important 

person in 

the world.

* * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And now is the time for me to

explore this voice of mine that is

raging inside of my very being ever

since the sun set and the moon arose.

A lion who wants to express herself as *

* she pleases and in doing so, she brings *

others to do exactly the same. And I’ll sit * *

by your side when you are on the other side of

the fear, your fear, your fear that so desperately

and dreadfully wants to break you down. But do

please remember this, you are unbreakable and *

unbendable because you broke yourself over and

over again. You broke down, broke into pieces just

so that everything could fall into place exactly the

way unfolding whatever beasty beast there is * *

that wants to rage and come out. In forever * *

* * *gratitude for what wanted to be * * *

* * * communicated through * * *

* * * me by having you * * *

* * ladies by my side. *

I will honor the work *

behind this community *

* by becoming the very best 

writer, poet and artist that 

I can possibly become in *

this one lifetime called

life.