GONG Jae Ok

Dearest Light Bearer

I am writing this letter with regards 

* to myself. The most wonderful person that I *

recently got in touch with recommended your work in 

one of your many books. She said that she always thought 

of your work in your book. Well, to make a long story short, 

I am here asking for some guidance on behalf of my delicate

beautiful mind. I know that I have always been different from

the rest of the world but I never knew how different until seven

eight months ago. My mind seems to accelerate at a speed that

is twice or thrice faster than the average mind. This implication

has resulted in great achievement but also a lot of suffering.

Ever since I was a little girl, I always dreamt of being a

writer as I love to write but then life was thrown at

me into different directions, which lead to where

I am now. 40 years old and trying to pursue a 

sustainable writing life. However, my mind is 

going in directions I did not sign up for trying to 

find the balance between Being and Doing. It took me 

more than 40 years to apprehend my different, extremely

creative, fast & complex mind but I am, little by little, growing

into some kind of acceptance that my mind differ from the vast

majority & that it is, foremost ok, but secondly something I can

have a creative outlet as a method to stay & remain sane. Well, I

guess that I am writing to ask for some of your guidance in how

to go about a sustainable lifestyle AND write. You seem to inhabit

* a wide range of both experience and knowledge in the field. &,

not to mention, a genuine interest and dedication to these kinds

of traits. I am not stating that I am this widely intelligent woman

but I am simply asking how to live a life in abundance of joy 

rather than suffer in wretched misery because of the agony 

of the soul, agony of the heart, agony of the mind 

and agony of the body, and how to use my 

vulnerability to my advantage. 

*

*

*

My ability for associative learning is 

very different from those of others but I have, *

during this year of Corona de luxe, in addition much 

thanks to a writing course that I took part of, comprehended 

* the depths of this ability to do excellent associative writing.

Writing that I never phantomed producing yet alone remaining

sane while doing it. It is an extraordinary gift from divine inter- *

* ventions but with this being said (written) it takes a toll on my

human body, heart & soul. It’s energy or synergy, I  have come

to realize in my meditation sessions, has very little to do with me.

It is just that divine wordings run through me & I do my best to

* catch them but the price is high. It interferes with my well-

being. I’d rather be 

happy not writing but since the writing in itself makes

me inhabit my body.  This equals that I have to write

but 

the thing is, that my soul has an immense power 

of me and I try to use it the best I can. And *

* more than seldom, it is hard for me to *

have this ever running fast associative 

* mind because, it is hard for *

the rest to follow. 

*

*

*

Having this type of mind has cost 

* me an immense pain and agony, not only *

for myself, but my loved ones around me. This resulted 

in me living a different life from most others, with different

needs, haves and wants. A piece of mind is far more urgent and

important to me, than achieving great things. A piece of mind is

and has always outweighed being right. Well, I am just writing

here trying to explain why, who, what, if I am. If I ever only were

what I believe I was. To me, it is secondary, what I have

accomplished in the past, what I do for a living, 

which is the reason I don’t mention it here.

I am much more interested in finding 

out where I am headed and how to get from here 

to there without yet again living on this Earth with a 

wretched soul. I could tell you this much, I am an embodied

soul who is here, on this Earth, to watch, to learn, to observe, 

to grow & to expand. I am an observer from another tidera,

humanly embodied full of heart & soul that macerate me 

* from time to time but yet I am here still blissfully *

standing.

*

*

*

* I am both an introvert and extrovert. *

Extremely introverted. & extremely extroverted. 

Which is kind of ODD. I am a human being with a deep 

soul, a thinker, with a mind that is constantly processing

everything I deal with, not only my own energies but those

around me. It is consuming me but I learnt to use it as a motor

to strive for my dream life. To be able to write and write fully

* * and with a full heart & soul. I view the world as I see it. * *

Magnificent, abhorrent, alluring, petrifying, and all the scales in

between. If there is anything I am trying to say is that if I manage

myself and delicate mind of mind, to enter the literaryworld, I

know intuitively that I won’t last for long going the traditional

way. Using social media, live sessions utterly & emotionally *

drain me from everything that I have got from everything I 

need to learn BUT I do want to see if there is a way I 

can go about it in a different way. And this

letter is one effort to do it. 

*

*

*

Well, if there is anything to this, 

I really made an effort trying to explain who 

I am, where I stand, where I want to go and if that *

is insufficient, then so be it. I am really, with this intended 

letter, pouring my heart out to two excellent teachers who

might see the depth in me, my being and how I perceive life,

myself in it & how to go about it making this world a better

place to be in. & if you’d like, we could meet somewhere

and talk about each other’s experiences, knowledge,

lessons learned, fears, dreams, failures that

could be of use not only us both

to the rest of the world.

*

*

*