Dear Miss Beth Death 

_____

27.43

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Soulfully written by GONG Jae Ok

* When I was 27 years old, *

* I experienced the most severe 

heartache ever. A heart shattered 

into a thousand pieces. I went into a 

spiral of destructive patterns. I lost 

myself to the demons and they *

deliberately and most delicately 

* embodied my whole being 

& doing in one chunk. *

* I became a lost soul and *

* comrades in the land of darkness 

lured me into their beings. They *

were all so very thirsty and dried up. 

* I was broken and beaten by the 

imperfect of my beaten heart ❤. 

I was broken. I was beaten. *

* I was drunken. Sunken 

into the filthy rich *

* soil of mud. 

* * * * *

 * I tried to outrun my pain, 

agony and ache but they had 

* me all fooled. They presented 

an illusion of serenity when embark–

ing their journey. They promised me to 

ease my pain, soothe my agony and wipe out

 * the ache, heartache mode my body, mind and 

* psyche was in. Tremendous pain, wretched agony

& aching ache aching for some kind of relief of any kind. 

Would you mind? Be so kind? Where is happiness to find? 

* * * * * *

Dear Miss Beth Death was standing 

by my doorstep. She lured me into 

her nest of woven bed of black roses 

with thorns that could poison a whole 

continent of broke & broken hearty hearts. 

* * * * * * *

* * * * * * * *

She seduced me, persuaded me to take her 

hand and follow her to the end of the world. 

To the end of the road. To the end of every–

thing. Devastation of every living or loving 

* * and breathing bones and marrows. * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * *

* * *

* *

*

* *

* * *

* It was so tempting *

& something that I seriously * *

* considered and put a great deal

into thought and action. Life was testing *

me in big ways and it became a burden just

 to breathe. One single breath took my breath

* away as soon as I exhaled. And then I had to

repeat the same procedure with less and less 

oxygen to inhale. The whole intake cost me 

* amounts of headspace, energy and some–

* * * thing I used the remaining of * * *

* * * * * my energy levels. * * * * *

* * * * * *

* * * * *

* * *

*

* * * *

* * * * *

This was the lowest point in *

* my life. I was wide awake in the 

lowest level of an inferno. Eyes wide 

open. However, I preferred them shut. 

I looked dear Miss Beth Death long and 

hard in her eyes. I was more than tempted

to let her take my demons and spirit to do as 

she pleased. To steal me away for free. For her *

* to throw into the juice of rotten tomatoes. At no 

charge. No cost. But when I looked into her heart, *

 I noticed something. Something very essential. Some-

thing that I had not considered up until now. Her heart

 was made of stone. Stone heart. Stoned heart. Stone dead. 

Stoned dead. Stone deaf. Dead cold. Nothing more to mold. 

Nothing more to hold or behold. Only bending and no 

more mending. And I could sense more than see all those 

* lost and wretched souls she had lured and deceived *

* * * up until now. They were standing guards * * *

* * * * whenever and wherever at all times. *  ** * *

* * * Eaten alive. Beaten alive. * * *

* * * Beaten to death. * * *

* * * Swollen. * * *

* * * Sullen. * * *

* * * *

* * * *

* * *

* 

* *

* * *

* *

*

* *

* * *

My body and all my 

senses froze. My tender

 soul shivered by fear but also

 with a nudge of something else.

 Something unfamiliar. Something

 that I had not felt in a very long time.

 A sense of aliveness. A sense of awakening.

 Or a lively but lovely feeling of awareness. 

Only a fraction. Nothing more. Nothing less.

* * * * * * * * *

And I intuitively knew that if I came along with her

 and her demons, I were never to return to the mortal

 world again. There was no place for second thoughts 

and second guessing. It was going to be eternal &

always imprinted in our spiritual world as lost souls 

* sucked up by dear Miss Beth Death alone. *

* * * * * * *

* * * * * *

* * * * *

* Somewhere, from far distant, *

 I heard birds chirp and then something

* extraordinary & the most unexpected 

thing unfolded. A butterfly 🦋 came to see 

me. It landed on my right shoulder and it sat 

* there throughout a dozen wing beats. And 

then something else happened. The wind

* gently caressed my cheeks. The *

* * * wind spoke to me. * * *

It said, we trust you. How is that possible? I asked the wind bewildered. 

I don’t even trust myself, I continued. And a third thing unfolded. 

* *

* * * *

* * * * *

I saw a pool of orange, red *

* and yellow leaves swirl around *

 into a whirlwind starting off from *

 the pavement and whirling and swirling

 higher and higher up in the air/sky. And 

this was in the middle of summer. There

 were not supposed to be autumn leaves

* in summer time. I thought that I was *

 going insane. I had to blink. And blink

 again. And blink. But the leaves were

 still there. It didn’t matter how *

* * many times I blinked. * *

* * Then I winked. My * *

 * * eyes twinkled. * *

* * * * * * * * * *

 * * * * * *

 * * 

Then I heard a soft voice whispering softly into my

 being. It gently guided me into my own existence. 

It said:

* Your time is not up yet.

You are not doomed and you *

are most certainly not broken. 

It was only when you believed in 

* a token not propelled to *

* your true nature. *

You have a purpose 

here on Mother Earth 

and Mother Soil. It serves

your senses wisely and to the 

right amount of time, space and 

nothingness. The nothingness was essentially 

essential. I couldn’t understand what happened with 

or to me. But I instinctively knew that this was my cue. 

My cue to live. It came to be the cure, my cure, to get 

rid of all demons, my demons. That had been with 

me for so long that I didn’t even know what it 

was like to be without them. 

With this new insight, I slowly but gently

 came back to life. I started to embrace whatever

 was to come my way. And I decided something else. 

Something fundamentally. Something crucial. I decided 

to give it another shot. I decided to give life another chance. 

I chose life and so it happens life chose me. Life decided to give 

me another shot. And this time not with misery but a shot filled 

with love, life and laughter. I stripped away every worldly matter for 

that matters. I scaled down. Peeled off a large chunk of my belief in 

who I thought I was. I toned down my earthly desires and started

leading a life worth living. I became someone who wanted to be a 

living, lovable and deliberately removing necessary information that prevented me from becoming who I was meant to be. Instead of 

seeking perfection, I started to scrutinize my imperfections, 

devours and flaws and deliberately examine the way they 

* affected my body, being, senses. I became the *

* * investigator of my own investigation. I * *

removed the lid of my own wretched- *

* ness and sucked the soul out of 

every kind of fear or fearful obstacle. 

Moons later, I stand strong, 

stronger than ever, stronger than 

most, with a beating heart beating the 

crap out of all the demons there is to find 

on this planet and spiritual world. This entails 

all dear, wretched and aching souls, as well. So, 

here I am, with my heart on my sleeves and a soul 

breather away to uncover what was buried inside of 

me all along. Here, I stand with a much more mended 

* heart, delicate soul, sacred body and complex mind, 

more integrated with my authentic self in a

world mainly concerned about money, *

* status and digital devices. *

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

If you want to talk about Death, then, be my guest. By all means. Talk to me whilst you are little by little leaving this Earth. I will never tell 

you what to do. I know the pain you are in and what hell you are 

going through every single second of the day of the year. 

* * * * * * * * * *

I know all about the demons. 

I also know how they haunt you, 

even in your sleep. The nightmares 

are to be awake. Even sleep, with the 

nightmares included, will be a, some-

what, if only a temporary breather 

from the land of darkness. 

I am telling you. I 

know the pain that you 

are in. I know all about the 

pain that caused you your 

heartache. Baby, I know. 

I know all about it.

I am telling you. Mending fences. Broken window. Steering 

wheels. Fleeting moments. But I am telling you something else. 

I made it. I made it back to *

* Earth. All the way from hell. And 

there is so much for me to tell. It wasn’t 

a treat and it will most definitely not be a 

treat for you. It will be hard. It will be rock 

bottom. It will be devastating. And wretch-

edness. There will be death wishes. Death 

anxieties all over the place. Whenever. *

* Wherever. It will be hell. It will be 

a hell of a job considering what *

was thrown your way.

But I am telling you *

* something else other than 

that. I am telling you to decide. 

To make a decision. To decide. 

To appreciate what kind of 

way death will provide 

to your service. 

At your disposal.

* Don’t stall. Don’t delay. *

Don’t prolong. Don’t drag it out. *

Just do it. Just get on with it once and 

for all. For the sake of it all. Become a 

lost cause. A lost soul. But for heaven’s 

sake, do it now. Not tomorrow. Not the 

day after tomorrow. And most certainly 

* and delicately not next week. Not 

* by next Monday. Not this *

* coming Monday. *

* However, if it so happens *

you were to find a spark, a tiny *

 * tiny spark, it doesn’t even have to be *

your spark to begin with. Just as long as you 

recognise it as such. Then it is your moral responsibility 

to come back to life. And not only that. It is your duty to 

tell the world about you escaping the demons. It is your 

ability, capacity and capability to proceed with your findings 

& uncoverings and tell the whole wide world about them. 

 So, don’t you dare give into them demons if you decide *

* to come back from a depleted soul and a lost cause. 

* * * * * * * *

I wish you to prosper in every way possible, 

in any field possible, in any way that makes

you use your voice. Make it worthwhile. Make 

it beautiful. Make it bright. Make it light. Please

 do not forget to ease the pain of others. Don’t 

neglect to share your journey with friends, as 

well as, with strangers. Don’t be a fool to think 

that you are above anyone or anything else. 

Don’t be flattered by that ego of yours. 

Don’t become greedy and see the 

value of money above well-

being and inner peace. 

* * * *

Today at the age at 43, *

I stand here with my shitload of 

emotions and a soul exposed to other *

breathing hearts and beating embodied souls. 

This is me sharing my journey with the mortal world.

It could have gone either way and it is your choice what 

* * direction your life will go from here and onwards. * *

* * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * I call it 27.43. It is all summed up in 27.43. * * *